Keano the Tractor Boy

Today i was about to lay into Garreth Southgate, but hes got lucky thank to Keanos move to Ipswich. Must be a Cork thing all them tractors and that.

Keano said

"I'm delighted to have joined Ipswich, there are lots of country lane ways where i can go dogging, er sorry walk the dog. Ipswich is a great team full of washed up premier league has beings and players that promised so much and delivered fuck all, which is just the sort of team i was looking for, as when i fuck it up, they cant put the blame on me. My first signing will be that lad (Craig Gordon)at Sunderland that i wasted 8 million quid on only for my mate Ricky to stick him on the bench. Craig son, I'm coming to your rescue! I will also sign anyone that has a grandmother from Cork, build a small rebel army and demand that Cork is made the capital of Ireland as we know it should be."

On another note Ryanair boss said he was "delighted" and "cant wait" to start charging €500 for return flights to the new Ipswich Airport he is building.

He said

" Yeha! I always new Roy would be a saviour to Ryanair. After he left Sunderland i was stuck with to many 737's, i mean every other week i ripped the piss out of Keano fans by charging them a fucking fortune to fly from Dublin and Cork to Newcastle, so i bought more planes to carry the Muppet's and i also quadrupled my bulls eye baggies order to get them all locked on the planes to take the pain out of watching that shite they call football at the Stadium of Light. But with this global economic fuck up i was starting to shit myself that the planes wouldn't be full, but thanks to Roy we can now go ahead with Ipswich International Airport. We have bought some land from Farmer Giles, hes going to give us a hand to get things up and running for the next home fixture against Coventry. With the runway not due to be built until 2082, Mr Giles has kindly donated a field to land the planes on, he has also provided an old cattle shed that will serve as the terminal building and he will push back the planes with his tractor, all in all very similar to the current Ryanair experience. So Keano fans, book on line now before i double the price!"

One things for sure Gunner On Tour can now go to the away match at Sunderland next season(maybe not, as they might join Roy in the Championship) without the fear off sitting with a load of plastic football fans and without O'leary charging a fucking fortune.

Until Tomorrow

Gunner On Tour